DreadWhimsy.

"Previously on Point Dume."

2010-03-24T20:59:00.000-07:00

Behold, my Minions. The fruit of mine loins.

This is the first promo teaser episode of my web series, "Previously on Point Dume," a Funny-or-Die Exclusive, featuring Enver Gjokaj of Joss Whedon's Dollhouse.

Prepare to Meet Your Dume.

Previously on Point Dume w/ Enver Gjokaj from Enver Gjokaj

Recessive Genes.

2010-03-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

There were... complications with the birth.

That's what she'd say when people dared to ask.

But look at poor, stupid Donald, she'd think. Playing along, acting the father.

But everyone could see it.

They could all see it.

DreadVid: BBC Haunted London Tube.

2010-02-14T10:05:00.000-08:00

An amazingly chilling documentary about sightings and hauntings on the London Tube, the oldest underground network in the world.

Ben, the Two of Us.

2010-02-14T09:57:00.000-08:00

So what if they had a violent relationship?
Him and Ben made it work. On their terms.
Isn't this why they came out West?
To live their lives without people staring?

The Things You Birth.

2010-02-10T09:54:00.000-08:00

"How quickly you forget your children, Doctor. I have not forgotten you. Or your promises of immortality. LOOK at me, Doctor. You look me in the eye."

"Do You Know the Baguette Man?"

2010-02-10T09:48:00.000-08:00

It was the kind of local legend only the elderly respected.
The teens scoffed and broke the Sacred Bread.
And now it was too late.
The Kneading had begun again.

BBC Docu: Arthur Conan Doyle, Detective.

2010-02-01T22:42:00.000-08:00

An amazingly well-produced and beautifully shot BBC documentary about the real-life crime solving of Sherlock Holmes' author, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle...

...beware encountering the horse slaughterer on a moonlit autumn night such as tonight...

Arthur Conan Doyle, For the Defense.

At the Prussian Ambassador's Gala.

2010-02-01T22:31:00.000-08:00

His cover had been blown.

He'd hoped to walk right out the Embassy doors, undetected.

But now, after what the child had seen...

Agent Grimbal was going to have to get creative.

"Or I WALK, What's It Gonna Be?"

2010-02-01T22:22:00.000-08:00

Look. Clancy had read the contract, okay?

They'd gone over the contract.

But guess what: he wasn't some fucking Disney tween.

He'd worked this town for years.

This wasn't about perks.

This was about his goddamn percentage of the back-end.

DreadVid: BBC, The Enfield Poltergeist.

2010-01-09T18:07:00.000-08:00

"The Enfield Poltergeist was a period of apparent poltergeist activity in England between August 1977 and September 1978...at Enfield in North London, in a council house rented to Peggy Hodgson, a single parent with four children."

I've Shown You All I Can. Go Now.

2010-01-09T17:30:00.000-08:00

It was time for them both to move on.

Barnabus knew it. Petey knew it.

You know, in many ways, the boy had taught him.

Wasn't life funny like that?

Prof. Krautendorf's Final Telegram.

2010-01-09T17:15:00.000-08:00

"Dearest Josef:

My Infernal tests have at last yielded Abominations!

I have merged two of God's most Lethal creations.

I feel certain I can control this new 'CrustaceaCat.'

Yet if I cannot, burn my papers. And God help us all."

A Real Nazi For Safety.

2010-01-09T17:07:00.000-08:00

After the "incident" on the airstrip with Dr. Jones, it fell to Wolfgang to "safety-proof" the entire Tanis archeological site.

I mean, seriously, for a Master Race, the boys were remarkably accident-prone.

Fortune and Glory.

2009-12-15T19:54:00.000-08:00

Deciphering the clues in the Codex Gorgona had brought them this far.

Wendell and Crispin could smell how close they were.

Here, somewhere in Rome... was the Bedpan of Mary Magdelene.

DreadVid: Awkward Cyber-Stalking Interview.

2009-12-15T19:43:00.000-08:00

The Trigger Effect 2.

2009-11-30T12:11:00.000-08:00

The wildfires had pushed Jenna to the breaking point.
"Civilization" was a myth.
"California" was a myth.
If it came down to it, some things were worth dying for.
Some things were worth killing for.

The Cold Hard Light of Monday.

2009-11-30T12:03:00.000-08:00

The hard part was when your "dayjob" started to define you.
What was that liberal education even for?

His Love is Real. He is Not.

2009-11-15T12:00:00.000-08:00

"What did you expect to happen, Ken?!
You programmed it to care for humans.
Now it's taken a bride.
Look in the mirror. Who's the real monster here?"

DreadVid: Inappropriate Soundtrack.

2009-11-15T11:54:00.000-08:00

The Matrix. The Carpenters.
[courtesy of the talented Boonehams]

Interruption of Dread.

2009-08-31T11:50:00.000-07:00

Apologies to my minions for the slow-down in postings.
This "August" you speak of is a lethargic wasteland of the mind.

Your favorite professor has been working on new projects which shall be unleashed in due time. Fiendish, hideous gibberings to delight and unsettle.

In Due Sincerity,

Prof. Adrian DreadWhimsy

"We Don't Have to Do Everything Together."

2009-08-20T10:01:00.000-07:00

Mimi knew getting a roommate would be a bad idea.
Cheyenne stole all her best looks, let pretty much any guy sniff her butt.
It was a total Single White Poodle scenario.

Never Been Kissed.

2009-08-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

As a policy, Verna and Abigail perhaps hadn't thought it out.
The men had called their bluff.
The winter nights in the womyn's commune would be long.

Let My Peoples Go.

2009-08-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

The Proclamation had impressed no one.
It was clear to Abraham now what he must do:
"Abolish" the Confederacy single-handedly.
Lead slaves home.
Theatre by 8 o'clock.

"How Can I Turn Him In, Linda?"

2009-08-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

It was the cocaine that changed Milton.
Turned him into the kind of bastard that could cook the books behind his own brother's back.
After you took him in, sobered him up.
Trusted him with your wife.
Lent him your car, your other car, and eventually your boat.

And This is Ernie From HR.

2009-08-17T08:10:00.000-07:00

Angela warned the new girls again staying in the break room.
If you got trapped in there with Ernie...
Be ready to fend off his advances.
And he had a habit of being, well, let's call it "handsy."

All the News That's Fit to Print.

2009-08-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

"The truth about post-Katrina New Orleans?"
Lenny Fitz leaned back in his chair.
"There's a reason folks don't talk about the aftermath."
25 years covering the City Beat and even he couldn't handle writing about the lawlessness he'd seen.

DreadWhimsy Jukebox: The Future Soon.

2009-08-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

The Future Soon.

@ Bumpershoot, Jonathan Coulton [2007]

The Lion, the Witch and the Mortgage.

2009-08-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

I mean, they were fine with Narnia most of the time.

Housing prices were good. Weather was decent...

It's just... not a whole lot of culture, you know?

Night life. Not a lot of high-end places to shop.

Have You Seen Her?

2009-08-07T18:15:00.000-07:00

"Well it's starting to creep me out. Steve, he goes there every day.

Because that's where he proposed to her.

But you know something else? ...I'm starting to think maybe Tanya wasn't kidnapped by terrorists at all.

I think she just moved back to Portland."

I'm Sure It's Nothing.

2009-08-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

Nick told himself what he'd seen in the park had been a trick of the light. Nothing more.

But within a fortnight he'd seen a dozen more of them.

All within a 5-block radius.

Why wasn't anyone talking about it?

DreadVid: Aleister Crowley.

2009-08-04T15:18:00.000-07:00

Aleister Crowley, the Other Loch Ness Monster.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aleister_Crowley

Crowley was known as "The Wickedest Man in the World," and the following documentary will give you a good indication of why.
How much would you need to be paid to spend a long cold Loch Ness night in the abandoned home of the dark lord?

"You're Not That Duck Anymore, Howard."

2009-08-04T15:15:00.000-07:00

The repressed memory hit him like a ton of bricks.
Now he knew why he'd pushed himself so hard.
Why he'd always felt the need to prove himself worthy.
Dr. Kleinman could only hold Howard as he wept openly.

Game Over, Man!

2009-08-04T15:10:00.000-07:00

It wasn't until Gilespie had gotten all his men into the copter that he noticed the problem.
His screams blended with the sound of rebel gunfire and the hard desert wind:
"God damn you, Halliburton!! God damn yooooooooou!!!"

Chicken of the Sea-Floor.

2009-08-04T15:00:00.000-07:00

So what if Chloe had... like, New Age-y dietary issues?
I mean, he'd dated a Vegan before. How bad could it be?
He'd keep an open mind tonight when she made dinner.
...and then he'd get laid.

DreadVid: If Walls Could Dream.

2009-08-02T21:45:00.000-07:00

555 KUBIK - 3D Projection Art.

Production: www.urbanscreen.com

Art Direction: Daniel Rossa - www.rossarossa.de
3D Operator: David Starmann
Sound Design : Jonas Wiese

Assimilate This.

2009-08-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

Captain Picard knew. He must follow the Borg back to the past.

Repair whatever damage they'd done.

The line must be drawn heeya.

This far. No further.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted.

2009-08-02T21:34:00.002-07:00

No, he wouldn't "behave" for the paparazzi.

They'd come all this way to get away from Hollywood.

From the Industry. From his sitcom.

More and more, their lives were just one big red carpet.

Thank You For Being a Friend.

2009-08-02T21:11:00.000-07:00

For a while, things had been great, all of them living together in Miami.

Bunch of swingin senior bachelors. A line of ladies down the block.

But Terry was ready to move out and move on.

The guys would just have to deal.

DreadWhimsy Jukebox.

2009-07-29T23:50:00.000-07:00

Helen's Theme.

Candyman Suite, Philip Glass [1992]

[as performed by givemetime123]

Prisoners of the Village.

2009-07-29T23:41:00.000-07:00

It was a trick.

Santa had let them escape, let them make it to a payphone.

A payphone that dialed only one number.

And, let's just say, it wasn't the ACLU.

He's Famous For Them.

2009-07-29T14:51:00.001-07:00

He didn't even really want to go.

But it was Denny's annual "4th of July Get-2-Gether."

And Felix knew what they all expected.

He was the guy that brought the vodka-melon.

That was his "thing."

DreadWhimsy Jukebox.

2009-07-28T14:23:00.000-07:00

Waterloo Sunset.
Something Else, The Kinks [1967]

In the Criminal Justice System...

2009-07-28T14:04:00.001-07:00

DeSanto had a tough stomach for this kind of thing.
You didn't last 25 years in Special Victims Unit bein' soft.
But it was shit like this... he thought, staring at the evidence.
I mean... what kind of God would allow this perversion?

Not a Cub, Not Yet a CareBear.

2009-07-28T13:58:00.000-07:00

They were all, You can't tell us what to do.
And their Dad was like, I can if you expect that trust fund to keep coming.
And they were like, Yo, we can make money any time we want, old man. A'ight?!

Teddy on 42nd Street.

2009-07-28T13:36:00.000-07:00

Ruxpin never did make the switchover to CDs and MP3's and whatever-the-hell-else the kids were using these days.
But if you happened to have a spare sandwich...
He still had one more story to share.

DreadWhimsy Jukebox.

2009-07-25T23:26:00.000-07:00

Everything I Own.

Baby I'm-A Want You, David Gates (1972)

A Woman Taken By the Wind.

2009-07-24T07:02:00.000-07:00

Two things were ruined that afternoon.

The family reunion picnic, and any shred of Aunt Donna's dignity.

He's a... Small Blunder.

2009-07-24T07:01:00.000-07:00

Wendell didn't mind ripping them open because he didn't really think of them as, well, you know, Alive.
But these new models...
It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't stare while you did it.
It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't sing quietly.

It's Not Rude, It's a City Thing.

2009-07-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

Erik had lived in New York long enough to know.

Best thing to do was just ignore gang members on the subway.

Don't even make eye contact, man.

You can't give them any excuse.

DreadWhimsy Jukebox.

2009-07-23T12:11:00.000-07:00

Both Sides Now.
Clouds, Joni Mitchell (1969)
[as performed by the beautiful Hiromi Ohta]

Lady Figginwop's Illustrious Device.

2009-07-23T12:02:00.000-07:00

After years of trial-and-error tinkering, Cecilia had finally perfected her "Auto-Gyno Lady's Home Invigorator."
Naturally, she mustn't let Henry learn its true purpose, lest he feel replaced.

"I Can Hear Them. In My Head."

2009-07-23T11:53:00.000-07:00

Brewster cocked the shot-gun.
He looked at Lizzie. Only one shell left.
Not even enough to take care of themselves.
"Close your eyes, baby," he whispered. "It'll be over soon."

He's What They Call a Power Bottom.

2009-07-23T11:43:00.002-07:00

Later, he'd feel so low he wanted to die, but while the Meth was coursing through his veins, Kermit begged for more, more, more.
It didn't matter who.
He just needed to feel something. Anything.

DreadWhimsy Jukebox.

2009-07-16T21:16:00.001-07:00

There's a Kind of Hush.

Herman's Hermits (1967)

DreadVid: In Search Of... Oak Island Money Pit.

2009-07-16T18:32:00.000-07:00

Fancy a treasure hunt, my minions? Let us away then, you and I, to Oak Island, near Nova Scotia, where treasure hunters have been digging into a mysterious pit for 200 years. Lives have been lost, fortunes have been squandered, but the Money Pit will not give up its secret.

Consult the map at your peril, as Mr. Leonard Nimoy tells us a story...

[map courtesy of The Unexplained Mysteries.com]

Being Mecha in America.

2009-07-16T18:30:00.000-07:00

"Let it go, Giga. They're not worth it."

"Nobody calls me that. That's our word."

"I know, man, I know... but fuck em, let it go."

"What do you mean by 'man?' I'm not a human, Daniel--"

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean--"

"God, you're no better than they are. With your humanocentric terms. Fuckin' robophobe. Get your hands off me! I'm outta here, Man..."

"Giga... Giga, come on..."

"It's Me. Timmy. Your Grandson."

2009-07-16T18:00:00.000-07:00

After the stroke, Grandpa was still fun to be around.

It just... it just wasn't the same PeePaw they'd known growing up, that's all.

Something in his eyes had been lost forever.

Baguette is French For Bagel.

2009-07-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

He could feel their eyes on him.
There was nothing worse than being that "Ugly American" abroad.
The best he could do was learn a few helpful French words and try to blend in.

Did You Remember to Pack My Pills?

2009-07-16T08:50:00.000-07:00

Sigh... fine, look, whatever, if they had to go to a foreign country just to vacation as a couple, so be it.

He wasn't about being edgy or "activist."
He just wanted to go someplace where Justine wouldn't be so fuckin self-conscious about public displays of affection.
You know what she was like.

DreadWiki: Horror of the Beanie Babies.

2009-07-16T08:08:00.001-07:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sawney_Bean

Witness the horror of Sawney Bean, monstrous cannibal of 15th century Scotland. He lived with his incestuous brood of "Beanie babies" in a deep tidal cave, emerging to kidnap travellers on nearby roads, dragging them back into the caves to feed the 46 family members inside.

Their perverse reign of terror only ended when King James VI of Scotland led "a manhunt with a team of 400 men and several bloodhounds, soon finding the Beans' previously overlooked cave in Bannane Head. The cave was rife with human remains, having been the scene of hundreds of murders and cannibalistic acts."

DreadWhimsy Jukebox.

2009-07-15T23:37:00.000-07:00

Nannou.
Windowlicker, Aphex Twin (1999)

Here, Take My Room Key.

2009-07-15T13:45:00.000-07:00

Two guys at once had always been a secret fantasy of Heather's.
And anyway, I mean whatever, this was Cancun, wasn't it?

They came here to get crazy, didn't they?

God, stop being such a little Mormon goody-good, Bekka.

You Only Call When You Need Something.

2009-07-15T13:30:00.000-07:00

Hey, no one said their friendship was healthy, but you know what?

Frank had been his best friend since Freshman year dorm.

His only friend-- when no one else would even talk to Nibbles.

So if he needed one more drink to dull the pain of the divorce... then line it up.

DreadWiki: Burke & Hare, the Resurrectionists.

2009-07-13T22:44:00.000-07:00

Behold, my minions, the dark and hideous reign of the Resurrection Men of Glasgow, Scotland. [Winter, 1827 - Winter 1828]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burke_and_Hare

"As medical science began to flourish in the early 19th century, demand [for cadavers] rose sharply, but at the same time, the only legal supply of cadavers—the bodies of executed criminals—had fallen due to a sharp reduction in the execution rate... William Burke and William Hare... sold the corpses of their 17 victims to the Edinburgh Medical College for dissection..."

[artwork: Adam Ford]

Upon his execution, William Burke's cadaver was publicly dissected at the Edinburgh Medical College and his tanned skin was used to bind a book, still on display...

DreadVid: The Real Amityville Horror.

2009-07-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

"It is probably one of the most haunted homes in the world. It's certainly one of the most publicized haunted homes."

-- Lorraine Warren, Paranormal Investigator.

"They produced a beautiful, commercial scam."

-- William Weber, DeFeo Family attorney.

Acquired Tastes.

2009-07-13T07:40:00.000-07:00

The more bored Richie Rich became, the more dangerous.

And now that he had a taste for human flesh, no one was safe.

The price of human testicles was high.

The price of denying Richie his favorite snack was higher.

A Matter of Homeland Security.

2009-07-13T07:35:00.000-07:00

Minninnewah and Kuckunniwi were master craftsmen.
Their pale-faced android was flawless.
He would infiltrate the White Man's Congress seemlessly.
And then, at the perfect moment, they'd detonate the torso-bomb.

Boycotts Are For Quitters.

2009-07-13T07:30:00.000-07:00

Mary-Anne sighed, satisfied.
She was sure David Letterman would follow her suggestions.
And if he didn't, well, then, she'd just keep sending strongly-worded letters.
And if that didn't work, well, then, she'd just reach out to her women's militia group and have his people killed.
Simple as that.

DreadWhimsy Jukebox.

2009-07-10T14:24:00.000-07:00

She's Not There.
Begin Here, The Zombies (1964)

The Day the Earth Stared Awkwardly.

2009-07-10T14:10:00.000-07:00

A ripple of giggles ran through the crowd around the UFO.
Filthy 'humans.' He would not stand such an insult!
They would come to fear his Holy Name, starting now.
"Tremble, Men of Earth! For I am Pubicon of Candypax!"

99 Problems But a Bitch Ain't One.

2009-07-10T14:00:00.000-07:00

Frankly, she disgusted him.
If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was clinginess.
You wanted to be his woman, you better get that straight.
That was just how Skeletor rolled.

DreadWhimsy Jukebox.

2009-07-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

Let It Be.

Let It Be, The Beatles (1970)

[As performed by Miloatsale's music box]

You Can Taste the Love in Every Bite.

2009-07-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

It meant shutting down production, but what could Larry do?

Sure, he ran the processing plant, but it was a family-owned business.

And if Young Miss Meriwether-Smith insisted on kissing each and every lamb goodbye before they hit the slaughterhouse floor, so be it.

The Children Are Sleeping Now.

2009-07-09T18:27:00.002-07:00

Well, what could Eleanor tell the other parents?

Ahtsy-Fahtsy was a world-renowned theatre clown.

He'd trained at the premier clowning academies.

She'd spent a small fortune to book him for Alicia's 4th birthday.

It wasn't her fault the kids reacted that way, was it?

Amnesty Unintentional.

2009-07-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

When Ayumi heard about the City's plans to erect a statue in honor of the victims of human trafficking, she'd expected something with a little more... I don't know, dignity?

Things Better Left Unsaid.

2009-07-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

Marcus slid the old photo back into Grandpapa's cigar box.
He'd keep the old man's secret. It was better that way.
But he'd never look him in the eye again.

Take Him Away and Have Him Drained.

2009-07-08T18:00:00.000-07:00

All this "everything in moderation" toff was for the masses.

Save it for the pamphlets.

Truth was, when Ben saw something he wanted, he took it by force.

He was a damn vicious prick of a man and, by God, he liked it that way.

DreadWhimsy Jukebox.

2009-07-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

Chim Chim Cher-ee.

Mary Poppins, the Sherman Brothers. (1964)

[as performed by WS64.]

Her Whole Bollocks "Holiday Abroad" Idea.

2009-07-07T22:10:00.000-07:00

No, this was bloody-well not how the Great Glass Elevator was meant to run. And if she'd just give him a sodding minute to find the intercom, he'd have Factory Security.

Honestly, you step off the tour two minutes to find a bloody toilet...

Nine Lives. All Public.

2009-07-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

He'd fought to move up from cat food commercials for so long.

To be taken seriously as a dramatic lead.

And finally he got the call from Dick Wolf.

But all this press... had happened so fast.

WhiskeyMittens had hard lessons ahead.

Nothing was sacred to the paparazzi.

The Temporal Anomalies Started with the Goats.

2009-07-03T22:40:00.000-07:00

No one seemed to want to talk about what was happening to the ranch.

Maybe no one else was even noticing.

What if no else is noticing, Garret?

How long you just gonna ignore the space-time distortions plaguing your family's farm?

"It's Okay, Polly, You're Remembering."

2009-07-03T22:20:00.000-07:00

Their eyes locked in the moon-light.

The dog knew why she'd snuck out.

He seemed to shake his head. Tsk tsk tsk. 13 and smoking...

But in that second they also knew.

It was cool.

They were good.

Signs 2: More Signs.

2009-07-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

"If you ask me, what I say happened to that Jenkins kid over in 27D...? That was a sign. No, I know. But what if it was a sign of her Ascension? No, I know. I'm just saying... what if it was only a demonstration... of Palin's true powers, Jake?"

Transformers 3: Why We Fight.

2009-07-02T07:00:00.001-07:00

Sure he still thought about Cybertron.

He'd had a life before all this... insanity, you know.

He'd had a job... a pretty decent studio apartment...

Man, what the hell have we become?

This endless, senseless war... I'm not even me anymore.

I, (Your Name), Promise To Do My Best.

2009-07-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

The merit badge for Innuendo was one of the hardest to pull off.

Dicky knew he faced stiff competition from the other Webelos.

Don't worry. He took it in the end.

But only after Scout Master Johnson had fully drilled him on his oral exam.

DreadWhimsy Jukebox.

2009-07-01T23:12:00.000-07:00

Dance of the SugarPlum Fairies.

Nutracker Suite, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. (1892)

[performed on glass harp by Robert Tiso]

Scrub the Pain Away.

2009-06-30T07:05:00.000-07:00

She hardly ever thought about Michael Jackson anymore.

I mean, who had the time?

Not her, that's for sure.

What, you think she still thought about him?

Well fuck you, you're wrong.

Because she didn't.

I mean, who even had the time?

The Once and Future Queens.

2009-06-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

Dr. Porter had seen his share of "complicated" births before, but still.

Maintaining his icy professionalism, he asked:

"Have you... picked out names for... for them?"

He leaned in to hear the exhausted mother.

"...my little angels... Mary Kate and Ashley..."

DreadWiki: The Moberly-Jourdain Incident.

2009-06-29T20:54:00.000-07:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moberly-Jourdain_incident

"A time slip is an alleged paranormal phenomenon in which a person, or group of people, travel through time through supernatural (rather than technological) means."

"...in a production of..."

2009-06-29T15:00:00.000-07:00

My Dearest Minions:

If you have not yet seen it, I urge you to celebrate your own inner awkward theatre-kid at my no-less-loved secondary blog, "...in a production of..."

There you will find a tribute to the tragically earnest art form of the theatre publicity photo.

DreadWhimsy Jukebox.

2009-06-25T20:20:00.000-07:00

Ben.

Michael Jackson. (1972)

DreadVid: The Importance of Science Fiction.

2009-06-25T13:50:00.001-07:00

"Nine legendary authors present their ideas on why SF is important to readers and what it teaches them. These excerpts are from a series of interviews and lectures done from 1968-1978 by Prof. James Gunn at the University of Kansas."

DreadWiki: The "Bloop."

2009-06-25T13:38:00.000-07:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bloop

"The Bloop is the name given to an ultra-low frequency underwater sound detected by the U.S. National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration several times during the summer of 1997. The source of the sound remains unknown..."

They Take Our Women, They Take Our Jobs.

2009-06-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

You know, Jurek still had his pride.

He'd beg in the streets for bread.

He'd sing and dance for loose change.

But he'd be God-damned if he'd accept handouts from one of them.

You Can Fly, You Can Fly, You Can Fly.

2009-06-25T09:05:00.000-07:00

Apparently there were like new laws or something about throwing pixie dust in kids' faces and urging them to jump out third-story windows.

God, this used to be so much easier back in the day, thought Peter.

The Devil Wears Pampers.

2009-06-25T09:00:00.000-07:00

"Gentlemen, I'll expect your answer by noon tomorrow."

Little Timmy Farber snapped the briefcase shut and toddled out of the boardroom.

What choice did they have? He had a controlling share.

No one had seen the hostile take-over coming. No one.

Tell The Children I Went on Holiday.

2009-06-24T08:00:00.002-07:00

It was a shame the yams had turned out so badly.

All in all, it had been a perfect Christmas up to then.

But Peggy knew.

It was her time to go out behind the woodshed.

"NO! Just Shut Your Mouth! Just Shut Up!"

2009-06-24T08:00:00.001-07:00

Shit, man, you know? Sometimes he just needed some goddamned space.

The bike had been a good call.

Before, he'd always taken it out on Wanda and the kids.

Now... now he had an escape.

Single-handedly saved their marriage, honest-to-God.

"You SURE You've Never Played Before?"

2009-06-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

It was Ricardo's signature move.

Compliment her on "her form"...

...get behind her, work on the back-hand.

Within an hour, they'd be back at his bungalow for Bloody Mary's and a handjob.

DreadWhimsy Jukebox.

2009-06-23T18:01:00.000-07:00

Super Mario Brothers 2: End Theme.

Koji Kondo. (1986)

[performed by banksta2 on YouTube]