I Dream of Tatooine.

George awoke in a fevered sweat.  

Must have fallen asleep on the sun-porch again.

But the omen was unmistakable.  Same dream as always.  

And it only ever meant one thing: time to expand the franchise.

Mags and Viv on a Tuesday Morning.

"No, I know, believe you me, and I said Nigel--"

"--no you did not--"

"--no, I did, I said, Nigel, if I can trim myself down there so can you."

"Stop it."

"I did! I said, here: Hand me the clippers.  I'll even show you how."

"Oh, you are terrible, aren't you."

Terminator: Salivation.

"No, it's the perfect direction to take the franchise. This time they send back an even deadlier one to kill Sarah Connor as a little girl. It's a prequel, plus with the dog it opens us up to a PG family rating.

"I mean, I'm just trying to do my job here... you got something against us making money?"

It's Just There's Full-Time and There's Freelance.

Cherylynn from HR was nice enough, and he appreciated her coming all the way down to talk him through it.  

But he could tell by the fake flirtation in her voice:  

He didn't qualify for the training seminar.

The Wire, Season 6: The Airport.

What, you think he liked having to turn in his own partner?  

ButterScraps was a good man, a good cop.  A cop's cop. 

But now he knew where the missing crack-cocaine was stashed.  

He had no choice.

Don't you get that?  He didn't have a choice.

I Just Want Someone That Shares My Values.

"God in Heaven, Dr. Harmony, you mean you've deciphered all 27 Dimensions of Compatibility?  Do you have any idea what that means?!"

Wikipedia Entries From the Future...

The August 2014 outbreak of violent hysteria, which lasted 17 days and was never fully explained by scientists, inspired a popular trend of "panic culture," including the now headline-grabbing punk sensation, "The Japanese Clothes Explosion."

Terminator: the Hokkaido Prefecture Chronicles.

Niko sat dead still, sweat building on her forehead. Just breathe... she thought.

Its laser-blades can't see you if you don't move...

It was the very scenario she'd feared since they brought the LadyRoomba 3000 home.

HP Lovecraft Accurately Predicts the Internet.

"The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age."   -- The Call of Cthulhu, 1928.

Personally, I vote dark age over going-mad-from-revelation, given the two.  But that's just me.

You Want to Get Your Foot In at Mir, Don't You?

No, he was serious.  He was gonna talk to the temp agency.  No, he was, no listen, he was because this was not what he thought taking a temp job in space would be like.  At all, okay?

"Sir, This Contract Arrived from Hell for You."

Waking up in the lustful embrace of Satan every night like clockwork at 3:37am and satisfying his every carnal demand was a price Newt Gingrich was prepared to pay.
That first night, still sore and stinking of sulphur, he planned his 2012 acceptance speech.

Everyone Smile and Say "Criminal Liability!"

It was part of the deal he'd struck with the Coruscant D.A.'s Office: if he showed up at the hospital they'd waive the Jedi-Assault charges over the Incident last month with the grade-schoolers that had gotten in Lord Vader's way at the Starbucks.

A DreadWhimsy Special: "...in a production of..."

For Minions who appreciate a touch of specificity, I present a secondary picture blog dedicated to the fine art of the overly earnest theatre publicity picture: "...in a production of..."

http://inaproductionof.blogspot.com/

Save It For the ACLU, Sweetheart.

Hey.  Look.  At the end of the day, it was just another mission.  

It was just targets on a map. 

So don't talk to him about 'civilian casualties.'  

"There are no civilians in this war, Debbie."  (Slamming down his Bud.)  "When you gonna get that, huh?"

They Say I Shouldn't Listen to YOU Anymore.

Dr. Frisby had been using the Inner-Me Costume exercise in therapy sessions with kids for years, with healthy results.

But, my God...  

Nothing he'd ever seen could prepare him for what was inside Cody Crenshaw, age 7.